But recently, I've discovered that I have some deeply profound thoughts, and it's really not fair to society to keep my philosophical musings to myself. So I hopped back on, because Facebook statuses (slash, Facebook in general) really aren't what they used to be.
Conducting a thorough analysis of logo design & team colors to determine my pick for the Super Bowl. Also factoring in mascot cuteness. 🐴🐦🏈
February 2, 2014If I were ever snowed in, I assure you the last thing I'd want is milk, eggs, & bread. Buying pizza rolls, chocolate, & coffee in bulk 🙌
January 28, 2014I hate the suspense of not knowing how a movie is gonna end, hence why Z & I went to see Lone Survivor today. Spoiler alert: LONE. SURVIVOR.
January 20, 2014Let's be real: the only new year's resolution I have is to stop writing the date as "2013" sometime before June. So far... no success.
January 19, 2014Zach & I made it through our entire first year of marriage without referring to each other as "hubby" or "wifey." You're welcome, humanity.
January 2, 2014"Normal people's lives probably aren't like this," she thought as she hung her coat in the closet between the bullet-proof & tactical vests.
January 7, 2014"Thanks Sweet Cheeks for doing this. You get an extra tushy tap for Christmas. XOXO. Love, Mommy Dearest" - my sister hacked my mom's email
December 4, 2013Snuggled in bed by 10 p.m. watching Everybody Loves Raymond reruns, so you could say my Friday nights are pretty wild.
November 23, 2013Remember that time I said, "I majored in visual art, so I can totally trim my own bangs..."?
July 17, 2013While the tweets that come out of my head are nothing short of spectacular, the real star of my Twitter feed is Zach, at least according to the, like, five people who follow me and have demanded more Zach quotes/conversations. What can I say? He's hilarious and I'm a people pleaser, so here you go:
Me: "Can I publicly say that you helped me with a craft project, or is that not cool?" Z: "Nah, it's fine. I'm reeaaal romantic like that."
December 23, 2013Me: "Aw, exactly one year ago, we were at our wedding rehearsal." Z: "Yeah... I was nervous." Me: "Why?" Z: "I'd never been married before!"
December 29, 2013Regarding #NewYearsEve w/80,000+ in downtown Raleigh: "I think that would be fun if we liked people." – Z. Needless to say, we're not going.
December 31, 2013Z: "I picked up some Reese's while I was at the grocery store today." Me: "I saw. I've already eaten four."
January 16, 2014Z: "See that red car?" Me: "It's burgundy, but yeah." Z: "No, that's red." Me: "I LITERALLY MAJORED IN COLORS, Z. I'll win this every time."
January 21, 2014Z: "When is Valentine's Day? The 7th? The 6th?" (awkward pause) Z: "Isn't it the first Thursday of the month?" 😐
February 1, 2014Z: "I looked it up. Valentine's Day is the 14th." Me: "If it's on the 14th this year, what will the date be next year?" Z: "...the 16th?"
February 1, 2014If you'd like some of this fabulousness in your Twitter feed, feel free to follow along at @simplybeffie. You know, assuming you still have a Twitter account and haven't moved on to whatever it is that comes next since I'm like, six years late to the party :)
