Trying To Be Patient

Apart from Chooseday Tuesdays (which single-handedly rectified my career as a Camp Bethel counselor after the "Have You Ever Seen A Camper Go To Pee" skit night incident), I'm not much for themed days of the week. So despite the fact that last Monday's post had some thought for the day as well, I'm not about to start a weekly "Motivational Monday" series or anything. Just clarifying.

However, I typically find myself laying in bed on Monday mornings thinking about everything I need to do during the course of the week. I'm a full-time student, obviously, so there's a never-ending to-do list of projects and meetings and exams and papers. I work two jobs---I'm a barista at the Coffeehouse and a resident assistant for a freshman dorm---so there's the fun of balancing shifts & on-call nights, handling issues with my girls, taking people to the emergency room, having Duke Police on speed dial, you know---the usual. Then this time of year rolls around & adds the stress of summer internship applications and resumes and career center appointments. And somewhere amongst all of that, I find myself curled up in a little ball ticked off at the world for being so messed up, because if I lived back in Bible times, I would have already been married for like, five years and have kids and not have to go to college in the first place. (I'm aware that statement can get me shunned by my liberal, feminist university. But really, think about it...)

So I get stressed and upset and frustrated. And I go eat sushi with Kacey because she always makes me feel better. And I remind God that He promised to take care of me and give me the future I hope for, you know... just in case He forgot that I have no idea what I'm doing this summer. Then I giggle, because I don't actually remind God about anything; I just remind myself. I really am content letting Him be in control. I've compiled my portfolio and resume, sent out all my applications, and I know that I'll end up wherever He wants me to be. And just like that---everything seems so much better.

Then, I make pretty things to remind me of the past twenty minutes, because inevitably, next Monday will roll around and I'll have these same little internal battles. Who am I kidding? It will probably happen again tomorrow.

both photos taken at Camp Bethel :)